I had imagined it much the year before. I spent time in my imagination, imagining what it would be like to see Hawaii 🏝 I had never been before. I knew friends that were living there and the pictures I'd see them post were mesmerizing 👀 And so the curiosity, the desire, the interest arose for me to go. I didn't want to go on my own. I liked the idea of being there with friends 😀 And so I did not push, I did not force, I did not barrel into action to "make this happen." I kept imagining it. I kept Feeling the Feelings Ahead of Time. As I knew that my Soul / Higher Self is much better at organizing these things ❇️ Play with it in imagination I did until I kind of lost interest. I let the desire go you could say 👈 Some months later an opportunity to attend a retreat popped up. It was with a Coach I much admired and also considered to be a good friend 💖 As the details were presented to me, everything about it did feel good, however, I had never traveled overseas and never traveled overseas on my own. So it felt like a big step. I asked my Internal Knowing / My Soul / My Inner Being for guidance. I asked, "Is this retreat opportunity right for me?" The answer came in an Akashic Sound Ceremony that I attended in Boulder, CO 🏔 It was a, "Yes, this IS in your Highest and Best Good." And so I became a, "YES!" 👈 Months later I would arrive at a beautiful retreat center on the Big Island of Hawaii. On the first night, I met many other delightful Souls for the first time. Some of whom I had been Facebook Friends with for a while 😀 So many of us instantly hit it off and it felt like we had known each other for lifetimes (we probably did!) This retreat felt better than anything I had imagined. Better because of the other fourteen or so Souls that I got to commune and experience Hawaii with 🌊 We had the most glorious time!! (I Am still in contact with many of those Kindred Spirits today 💖) What's the through line of this story? ⬇️ Because I allowed things to unfold naturally -- because I allowed things to be Orchestrated by my Soul Intelligence -- this Hawaii Experience, again, was BETTER than I had ever imagined 🙌 It was the letting go that allowed things to fall into place so naturally. And while I did fly to Hawaii alone, I spent my first five days there with people who lit my Soul on Fire 🔥 This is the power of Imagining (telling the Universe what would be nice) and then letting Go. Letting Go, Letting Go, Letting Go. I cannot emphasize the letting go enough!. That gives our Souls, God, the Universe, the Infinite Field of All That Is --- space to move things into place in a way that will surprise and delight us. Surprise and Delight Us Indeed!! (That continues to be my experience I'll say) 💫 Where could you leave room for Life / the Universe / the God Within to delight and surprise you? I'd LOVE to know ⬇️ (Leave a comment if you feel so inclined!)
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And That Was One of the Most Defining Moments of My Life to This Day. Saying goodbye to my dog with a Heart that Had Just Been Shattered into a Billion Pieces. It’s really how it felt. I knew I was doing the right thing by moving on, by going to Los Angeles. And it didn’t stop me from breaking into the most uncomfortable wails I’ve ever experienced. My husband (at the time) had just driven away. That was the last moment of him being my husband really. He wanted to leave the house before I got in the car for a nationwide drive. I compare it to a scene in Dallas Buyers Club where Matthew McConaughey is on the side of the road, in a car, having an emotional breakdown. The wails were so uncomfortable to watch — yet relatable — because he (Matthew) was one of the only other people I had ever seen cry like I (once) did. The dog started barking like no tomorrow. I think he was just as alarmed by my wails as I was. That moment was so important though. A few months later I would hear the quote, “The wound is the place where the light enters you” by Rumi. In the moment of hearing that quote I would know exactly what it meant based on this parting of ways experience. I wailed, and I wailed, and I wailed. That was the end of the life and the romantic love I had known for eight years before. Our relationship had had its many troubles for sure — and — I still loved the guy. The love had been real. I Kept Breaking Wide-Open So in that moment of my Heart Having Just Been Shattered into a Billion Pieces, I then sat down and said goodbye to my dog. My little, gray, 20-pound chihuahua-boston terrier mix. I don’t think he understood what was happening and I still had to say goodbye. (I was the one that adopted him but I knew that he wouldn’t have a good quality of life if he came along.) And so my Heart Broke a Little More in That Moment Too. Picking myself up off the floor in that moment took everything. Every bit of willpower and regard for myself that I had. My sister was about to be dropped off in the driveway by a friend and my car had been packed. This life was done. It was time to go. It Takes Courage to Be Done I share these details because I know the courage that it takes to be done. To let go, to move on. It didn’t feel easy at the time. Looking back I see how necessary it was to set myself free. I was setting me free. I was choosing to open up to Life, the Unknown, in a way that I never had before. I was choosing to dissolve a life that hadn’t worked or felt good for a very long time. I was choosing to be Wide Open to a Dream. My Childhood Dream. Spiritual Awakenings are real. That was a crucial part of mine. “The wound is the place where the light enters you.” Having had that experience I now know exactly what that means. The next leg of this journey was 2600 miles in length. My sister and I would do that in forty-six hours. Then, then I would see something unlike anything I had seen before. A world, a neighborhood called North Hollywood. A place that would show me How Safe It Was to Be My Self 🕊 The End. (of this Three Part Share) If you've found value from these posts feel free to let me know. I'll provide a contact form below ⬇️ If you've missed Parts 1 & 2 of this Series you can find them here, I Began to Follow My Heart at 30 (Part 1) I Began to Follow My Heart at 30 (Part 2) I'll be sharing more lived-life experiences, and what I've learned along the way, in the days and weeks ahead. Feel free to follow me on Facebook and Instagram if you'd like to see when the new blog previews arrive 📱💬 https://www.facebook.com/Timaaay https://www.instagram.com/selflovewithtim/ Much Love and Many Blessings, Timothy 🌈 🤍 I Felt that All of Life Was Behind Me as Doors Opened and The Way Was Being Made... It was pretty phenomenal to see that once I made a decision and lined up with it, things came together -- fast! At that point in time, I was living the paycheck-to-paycheck life and had about $2,000 in the bank. I had heard that it was best to have $10,000 in the bank if you had plans to move to Los Angeles without a job. (That came from the Actors I had talked to that were already living there.) I told myself/Life, "I'll go as soon as I feel I have enough of a financial cushion saved up to support me when I get there." I didn't try to figure this out. I kind of assumed I would need to wait and save and be rather patient. To my surprise, not too long after that, I got two letters in the mail. Almost back to back. They were special offers to close out a couple pensions I had from working for other employers. What I recall (this was 10 years ago haha) is that there was some reduction in fees/financial benefit if I fully withdrew and closed the pensions. All in all, that was going to put $6,000 in my pocket and pretty quickly. I had never received letters like this before. Ever! I couldn't deny the perfect timing of them. I told Life, "I'll go when I feel I have enough savings" and within a couple weeks, the letters showed up. Doors were opening, the way was being made. I was choosing to experience better -- to follow my Heart for the first time -- and the way was being made. It Continued to Come Together Knowing I had the money landing in my bank account soon, I began looking for a room to rent in North Hollywood (literally just north of Hollywood). I had a friend living there that I met in an acting class locally. She was currently doing the bi-coastal thing and told me all about living in LA 🌴 Funny enough I found the room pretty quickly. I didn't know it at the time but the room would end up being a 7-minute walk from my local Acting Friend in North Hollywood. I searched for rooms around $700 per month and that led me to have a conversation by phone that lasted 2-hours. I had texted a number in an online ad expressing interest and the guy reached back out within 12-hours. We talked details and then got to know each other. There was a lot in common and he kept telling me, "Dude you SO are going to fit in here!" I had told him that I was very much into plant-based organic food, meditation, yoga, and mindfulness. (In 2014 these had not yet been widely embraced in the town I was living in.) It felt like a relief that my passions would be understood where I was going. 24-hours later, my future roommate reached out and said, "The room is yours." It firmed up I was going and I was going soon! As I said before, once I made the decision -- firmly so -- things just began falling into place. It fell as if All of Life was behind me and ushering me forward in this decision to Follow My Heart and Live a Dream 🎬 🎭 I Didn't Have to Drive Alone! The drive? Oh yeah, then there was that. 2600 miles and I felt like I didn't want to spend a bunch of money on hotels. I did have $8,000 but my mindset at that time was that that was for rent and groceries on the other side. The next thing that fell into place? My youngest sister told me, "I'd love to drive across the country with you! And I mean it, I LOVE to drive! I've always wanted to drive across the country." I was 30, she was 22 and we decided we'd just get there as quickly as possible. (To be continued...) To go to Part Three of this Three Part Share, Click Here. If you missed Part One of this story, you can find it here ⬇️ http://lifeastimothy.weebly.com/messages/i-began-to-follow-my-heart-at-30-part-1 |
TimothyTimothy Waterman is a Globally Celebrated Channel and Trans4mational Guide who passionately speaks on the Process of Conscious Awakening. Categories
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January 2024
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